Holiday survival tip #2 - Shop smarter, not harder
Black Friday
Eight years ago, my sister-in-law and I had the grand idea that since our men were going to be away the day after Thanksgiving (hers in Iraq, mine at deer camp), we would sneak away for some early morning shopping. The deals were particularly appealing that year and I was particularly broke, being that I was expecting our second child within a month of Thanksgiving. Since I was having difficulty sleeping anyway, this seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. So, with sale papers in hand, we left our centrally-heated homes to brave the freezing temperatures and insane crowds to get a jump-start on holiday deals.
Friends, it's called "Black Friday" for a reason. There is nothing white, pink, yellow, or green about this day. Folks lose their minds. Seriously. Something about 900 people all clamoring for the 100 items displayed at a drastically reduced price sends people into a frenzy. All sense is lost. All courtesy is forgotten. Any manners? Forget it. All bets are off.
We made the mistake of hitting Walmart first. I'm not a fan of this particular retailer in the first place, but the deals really were enticing. So, we walked (I waddled) into the store and began scoping out our points of attack. She headed for the small kitchen appliances and I teetered through the electronics section. A line had formed to even enter this section, and being claustrophobic, I decided I probably ought to just head toward the small kitchen appliances also. With my walking trail obscured by my giant (and I mean GIANT) belly, I failed to see an obstacle in my path. I tripped over a cardboard box and fell, face first, landing on all fours in the middle of the isle. At first no one saw me, for which I was grateful, considering my lack of grace at the moment. Plus, I was unsure if my maternity blue jeans had remained intact during the fall. But because of a shift in my center of gravity, and pain in my knees, getting up was difficult and took a great deal more time than I had anticipated, giving passers by plenty of time to gawk and stare. Finally, a kind gentlemen offered a hand. I was so humiliated I didn't even want to look him in the eye. Then I began to wonder if my bladder had held during the fall. What if my water had broken? Oh, dear. This could be disastrous. Fortunately, after a lot of grunting (which wasn't all my own, I might add), the kind man lifted me up and I discovered that my bag of waters was intact, and my pants were dry. Praise God. But my dignity? Yeah, that had left me.
I waddled my way to the front of the store where I found my sister-in-law, with her treasures, and we proceeded to the checkout. This, friends, is where I saw the blackest of Black Friday...
We stood in line for around 15 minutes, me praying silently that none of the folks around me recognized me as "that pregnant lady who took a spill on isle 5." Finally, the registers opened and the cash registers began beeping and jingling. After a few folks had paid and left, the line began to move forward. My sister-in-law began to step forward, realizing that a coffee pot was blocking her path. With her foot, she nudged it out of the way. Out of nowhere, a husky voice and the smell of stale cigarette smoke hovered over us, shouting, "I was saving my place in line with that!" My sister-in-law, in her sweetest voice, said, "you can't save a place in line with a coffee pot. We've been standing here, waiting, and that's not fair." Somehow, the rather large loud woman didn't feel compelled to evacuate her reserved space. In fact, she began to move ever closer to my sister-in-law's space. (My left eye twitches feverishly as I write.) The woman proceeded to all but threaten my sister in law, over a coffee pot, in the middle of Walmart on the busiest shopping day of the year, stating that she had "been here longer" and had "reserved her place in line while [she] ran to go grab something else" and that my poor sister-in-law had better not say another word about it. At this point, I felt dizzy and I felt something kinda wet around my knee. Please, don't let me be going into labor right here in Walmart! Thankfully, it was only a little bit of blood from the abuse my knees took a few moments before. Meanwhile, my non-confrontational sister-in-law was standing her ground while this unattractive woman was losing her religion over a reserved space in line with a $5 coffee pot and a box of Marlboro reds. I don't recall the exact words, but some four letter ones were shared and finally a Walmart associate manager asked the "lady" to please step to the back of the line.
We checked out and headed to the car, which I half expected to find keyed and lit on fire. We left Walmart and headed to Old Navy where I bought a maternity sweater that I later accidentally put into the drier and had to give to my 5-year-old niece. I did save $20, though. All-in-all, the shopping trip yielded no real amazing finds. In fact, I can't recall that I actually bought any Christmas gifts at all. I think my spirit was so broken after realizing how many selfish people claim to celebrate a holiday based on the birth of the most unselfish being ever to walk upon the earth.
Holiday survival tip #3 - Spend on where it really matters
I recently had a long telephone conversation with my dad where we both recalled our favorite memories from Christmases past. Our recollections both included things like the smell of the Christmas turkey, the taste of the homemade fudge, the twinkling lights, and watching It's A Wonderful Life a dozen times in the course of a season. Nowhere in our fondest memories lie the gifts we exchanged. In fact, while I know that my parents (and grandparents) spoiled us with gifts in quantities unheard of, I can't really recall what those gifts were. I can't recall how long they lasted. And I can't recall any that I gave, either. But I remember how the time was spent.
I can only imagine the crazy kind of debt my parents went into showering us with gifts like they did. But they were spinning their wheels trying always to outdo the previous year's yield. What we remember most, what we value most, is the time spent making memories - the kind of memories I try to make with my own children.
I heard on the news a few nights ago that Americans will spend around $1.2 billion between Black Friday and Cyber Monday (Black Friday's less intrusive cousin), working out to around $400 per customer. Wow. Is there not any other way to spend $400? Would Jesus have accepted a $400 gift? And how could you top the gift He gave anyway? Why try?
This year, God has really put it on my heart to give something that cannot be exchanged, replaced, or thrown out. It can (and should be) re-gifted, though. This Christmas, I want to bless my family and friends with the gift of love. I want to spend time with them, nurture our relationships, and truly rejoice in the birth of our savior. Isn't that what Christmas is about anyway??
Now, if you feel compelled to give a gift, let me suggest the gift of life. For way less than $400, you can literally save a life. Just visit the World Vision gift catalog and buy a life-saving gift to help those who aren't concerned with getting presents for Christmas - they're concerned with living to see another Christmas.
That everyone should know him by receiving him in real, tangible ways... This, my friends, this is what Jesus wants for his birthday.
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