You know you've been to Guatemala if...

I've compiled a list of 30 of my favorite memories from my recent Guatemala trip. Hopefully my friends will get a little giggle out of some of these.

You know you've been to Guatemala if...

1. You can ride side saddle on the back of a motorcycle along with 6 other family members.

2. You say "whiskey" when you take a picture.

3. You have two basic seasons a year: rainy, and hot.

4. You trust your three-year-old to take care of your infant.

5. You are not a dog or a cat person.

6. You are used to taking cold showers.

7. You understand the mating call of the gecko.

8. "Mud" is your favorite color.

9. You believe that stripes on the road are merely for decoration only.

10. You have been called a "gringo" and it's a compliment.

11. You can buy anything for 10% of the original asking price.

12. You can convert dollars to Qs in your head.

13. You've been served vital organs in your chicken soup.

14. You make corn tortillas for breakfast.

15. You can balance a basket on your head.

16. You think you're an old maid at 18.

17. You can play soccer barefoot.

18. You share a bathroom with scorpions.

19. You've jumped off "the dragon."

20. You've eaten your weight in Pringles.

21. You walk to school with a machete.

22. You've learned the hard way not to play "got your nose".

23. Your baby drinks coffee.

24. You know what a "chicken bus" is... and never want to ride one.

25. You've had a dog wander into your classroom repeatedly.

26. You've made Play-Dough poop.

27. Seeing the Coke truck brought a tear to your eye.

28. You have seen fruit known to make a man go blind.

29. You have no problem going potty on the front porch.

30. You have had one or more cheeks go numb in the van.

31. You can taste the difference between Diet Coke and Coca Light.

32. You know what a "cleavage purse" is.

33. The locals think YOUR accent is funny.

34. You know what mosquito spray tastes like.

35. You've mistaken a grown man for an 12-year-old.

36. Your first-grader wears political t-shirts.

37. You know what a "pick-a-tarian" is.

38. You own at least one Salvavidas bottle.

39. You have ridden 10 or more miles holding your breath down the highway.

40. You own a blue and white soccer jersey.

41. You know who "senor jabon" is.

42. You know how many pounds of coffee can fit into your suitcase.

43. You've played American football with - and gotten schooled by - Guatemalan kids.

44. You ask, "photo?" before you take a picture, and then automatically squat down to show it.

45. You have "gatos".

46. You laugh when you hear "badonkadonk".

47. You've had to quickly slam your van door shut to avoid "stowaways".

48. You know the rules to "giants and midgets".

49. You and your Apple product tie up the available internet connection.

50. You have a desire to come and get sweaty and dirty all over again.