As I was unpacking boxes from the recent move, I came across a package of old pictures and slides. I enjoy a good trip down Memory Lane, so I opened the envelope and began thumbing through goofy pictures of my brothers and sisters and I in our youth. The 70s were not kind to any of us. But after a few moments, and a lot of giggles, I came across a picture I was sure I had never seen before. While the rest of the photographs had yellowed and faded, this particular picture was immaculate and crisp, like the day it had first been processed (yes, this is before we had the blessing of digital photography, kids).
I must've stared at it for at least a minute before I realized what I was staring at. It was a picture of my mother, looking more beautiful than I had ever seen her. At first I didn't recognize her. In nearly all the pictures from my youth she has short hair, glasses, and no makeup. But in this picture, she looked incredible. She was thin, but not sickly, and wearing very tight jeans (again, the 70s). She had on high-heeled sandals and a low-cut pink blouse. Her face was freshly made, with matching pink lipstick. Her hair was shoulder-length, layered, and glossy. If I didn't recognize her eyes, I might have thought it was a model. She was absolutely gorgeous, leading me to believe this picture must've been taken before my brothers and sisters and I were around - we had a tendency to leave her looking tired and disheveled.
Of all the things that looked incredible in her picture - her makeup, her clothes, her figure, her hair - there was one thing that was completely unmistakably "Vicki". She barely cracked a smile - something common to all of her pictures, even dating back to her childhood photos. And then there were her eyes. Even if she had grinned from ear to ear, her eyes would never reveal what she was really thinking, and I guarantee that she was thinking about something. Her mind never stopped. And her eyes, never sad, but always deep in thought in some other time or dimension, wouldn't ever really let you see inside to what was going on behind her beautiful exterior.
I always thought my mom was pretty. Especially in the pictures my grandma showed me of her sweet baby girl all the way through high school. She was long and lean, with gorgeous hair and skin, and elegant and graceful. She always looked confident, without looking egotistical. But as pretty as I thought she was, she seemed to want to be photographed. She enjoyed being on the other side of the camera, with the ability to do what cameras couldn't ever seem to do for her - see past the beautiful shell to the inner workings of one of the most intelligent, determined women I had ever had the pleasure to know. In every picture, her eyes seemed to put up a barrier that wouldn't allow for emotion to show through.
My mom didn't dress up much when I was a kid. She said pantyhose were uncomfortable, and high heels made her feet hurt. She said she was glad when my dad's business took off and she was able to stay home with us kids. Ironically, she once told me, her feet hurt from that job worse than an entire day in heels. But the job of stay-at-home-Mom didn't allow for glamour. She stayed busy running after us, shuttling us to and from school and practice, cleaning, running errands, and keeping a tight ship. Now that I am home with my kids, I definitely understand - and appreciate - why she didn't have time or energy for dresses and makeup. There were very few occasions for wearing something other than blue jeans and tennis shoes. But in this picture, with her hair done, her makeup looking incredible, and figure-flattering clothes, my mom looked like a completely different woman. I could see why my dad was so attracted to her.
My mom was an amazing lady. I treasure the memories I keep of her - even the sloppy, disheveled, messy ones. But this was a side of her I rarely saw. And I am so thankful that it was captured on film.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Oh, The Places I'll Go
A month ago, some amazing friends and my husband went with me to Guatemala to drill a clean water well with Living Water International. I know y'all have heard me talk about this organization, and how passionate I am - my whole family, actually - about the amazing things they are doing through the generosity of people like you and I and by following the guidance of our loving Heavenly Father. I can't say enough good things about the life change I constantly witness thanks to this organization! And I knew I wasn't alone in my thinking - plenty of people have had wonderful things to say about LWI. However, I didn't exactly expect for my 8-year-old son, Wes, to be so vocal.
While we were gone on our mission, Wes's class wrote essays about their goals as they proceed on through school. Their teachers all sent these essays home during that last week of school, and this is what he wrote (I took the liberty of correcting his spelling):
Admittedly, this brought tears to my eyes pretty quickly. What parent wouldn't want to hear their kids say something like "I want to be like my parents"? The trouble is, I believe, that his heart is so much cleaner, purer, and more set on Jesus than mine is. So, in all honesty, I pray that he isn't a thing like me. But I pray that he carries a passion in his heart to serve people - the people of Guatemala and the world - in a way that brings joy to his heart and the heart of God.
I know each of my children is a special blessing, and each is born to be a blessing in their own way. But Wes is a little different from Abby and Marshall. He genuinely, deeply cares for people. He loves people in a way that I could only hope to. He loves people regardless of their circumstances, and that's something I admire about him. I pray that in 5 or 6 more years, when he's ready to drill and "get clean water for who doesn't have any" that the world will embrace his willing spirit and receive the gift that I know he's eager to give.
It's times like these that I know for certain that these children aren't really mine... only borrowed from the One who created them.
While we were gone on our mission, Wes's class wrote essays about their goals as they proceed on through school. Their teachers all sent these essays home during that last week of school, and this is what he wrote (I took the liberty of correcting his spelling):
"Oh the Places I'll Go"
My goal is to go to a country called Guatemala to drill wells for water that is clean. I want to be like my parents. I have to be 14 to drill. So I will give them clean water. My parents are there now! Guatemala is very poor and very hot. The people are adults are only as tall as me! They call what we call football soccer. The water there is very dirty with bugs and dirt. So that is my goal in life to get clean water for who doesn't have any.
Admittedly, this brought tears to my eyes pretty quickly. What parent wouldn't want to hear their kids say something like "I want to be like my parents"? The trouble is, I believe, that his heart is so much cleaner, purer, and more set on Jesus than mine is. So, in all honesty, I pray that he isn't a thing like me. But I pray that he carries a passion in his heart to serve people - the people of Guatemala and the world - in a way that brings joy to his heart and the heart of God.
I know each of my children is a special blessing, and each is born to be a blessing in their own way. But Wes is a little different from Abby and Marshall. He genuinely, deeply cares for people. He loves people in a way that I could only hope to. He loves people regardless of their circumstances, and that's something I admire about him. I pray that in 5 or 6 more years, when he's ready to drill and "get clean water for who doesn't have any" that the world will embrace his willing spirit and receive the gift that I know he's eager to give.
It's times like these that I know for certain that these children aren't really mine... only borrowed from the One who created them.
The girl with the heart tattoo
I was approached today in the Walmart parking lot as I headed out to my car. A woman, about my age, with smeared eye makeup, a heart tattoo on her left forearm, and a stained t-shirt asked me if I could let her have a few bucks to get her through until she was able to get some more money. I didn't ask her much, but let her talk a moment. My eyes immediately scanned her face, her hands, and returned to her eyes. I'm sure she felt my stare, and likely received it as judgment on my part.
"Are you from here?" I asked, avoiding her initial question.
"Actually, I'm from California. Just here visiting." She answered, seeming a little bit annoyed with me.
"Me, too! Where from?"
"Well, I grew up in Riverside. That's in Southern California."
"Me too!" I smiled back at her, feeling somewhat connected to the stranger.
"Actually," she said, "I grew up in Corona but I live in San Bernadino now."
I felt like, at this point, and in retrospect, this might have been a clue for me to cut and run. After all, a disheveled woman from the Meth capital of the world is asking for money. I felt a little bit uneasy, but a calmness seemed to linger in the air between us.
A few Christmases ago, I prayed that God would let me see people the way He sees them - without their faults and failures, beyond their smeared makeup and dirty clothes, and past their history. And suddenly I saw this girl the way, I imagine, God might: immature, needy, and hurting.
I didn't ask her back story. I didn't bother to question why she would be so far from "home". I didn't even ask what she needed the money for, though I suspected that my reasoning was somewhat selfish and that I didn't really want to know. But I did something unusual.
"Promise me that you are going to use this money wisely." I said. Before the words finished falling from my lips, I felt a wave of regret. Who am I to question her need? And, in all honesty, does it matter what she's going to do with the money once I give it? Once it leaves my hands, I no longer reserve the right to criticize it's final destination and/or purpose. And why would I assume, based on 2 minutes of conversation and a surface glance, that she would be anything less than honest with the money? Feeling guilty and ashamed, I looked into her eyes, then to the ground, hoping she would see my apology in my eyes.
"It's for my kids." She said.
I know, full well, and with good experience, that addicts lie through their teeth, straight faced, and very convincingly if need be. They will tell you anything to get what they want. They even lie to themselves, if that's what it takes. This is not my first experience with addicts, I assure you, and I felt a little sheepish for even having asked this woman such a foolish thing. First of all, if she was an honest woman, how belittling it must feel for me to piously ask her such a thing! And second of all, if she was an addict, what reason would I have to believe her in the first place? I felt ridiculous and small.
Her reasons for asking seemed small in the shadow of the cross. If she was abusing my generosity, it wasn't for me to decide. But if I said no, knowing that I had a few dollars to give, and she was unable to provide for her children that day, I'm not sure that I would be able to sleep at night. In that brief moment, while her pale face stared at mine, I decided that it was worth the risk. The few dollars I could give her may never hurt me, but it might be all the difference to her. And beyond that, I couldn't know for certain what might become. I reached into my wallet and saw two crisp five-dollar bills, and a wrinkled single. I handed them to her with a smile.
"Good luck, and God bless," I told her.
She ran off quickly and I began to load my groceries into the truck. I cranked the engine and saw, before backing, the woman in my rear view mirror talking with two other women a few rows over. I put my truck back in park and watched in the mirror as they spoke. The woman handed another woman four bills - my three and another - and received something small in return to the palm of her hand. Though I can't be 100% certain, I feel fairly confident that I had just witnessed a drug deal. Immediately, my heart sank like a stone. Through tears, I looked in the rear view to see the woman get into an old Buick with another man, no children, and drive quickly away.
I felt so cheated, and so angry. Part of me wanted to go rattle the "dealer" senseless and maybe slash her tires. Part of me wanted to punch that man driving in the face. And part of me wanted to punch that "needy" woman in the stomach - so that she might feel the weight in the pit of her gut the way I did. How could I have been so foolish?
I shut my eyes and prayed. "God, I thought I was doing what You wanted me to! I was giving freely to someone You placed in my path! God, how could You let me be cheated like that? And, God, how could You let me see that? I was trying to help, but God, I think I failed..."
I will never know what happened to that girl from California. I will never know what she bought, or how much money she earned pan-handling from gullible strangers like me. But I know that she paid a high price. She was willing to lie, cheat, or steal to get whatever it is that she bought, and she put herself at risk. Her body will suffer, her mind will suffer, her soul is suffering - whether that is something she chooses to admit, or not. But for me, my heart aches for her. My heart aches for me.
I feel certain that my money is not the issue here - the issue is that God presented someone to me, who was in need, and I took the easy way out. What she really needed was not my money, but maybe my friendship, my love, or more likely, my God - He has a way of bringing what is dead back to life.
Friends, I ask that you pray for this woman, though I do not know her name. She's on my mind, and I pray for her safety and her eventual return to a loving Heavenly Father, who can provide so much more for her than what my $11 temporarily gave her.
"Are you from here?" I asked, avoiding her initial question.
"Actually, I'm from California. Just here visiting." She answered, seeming a little bit annoyed with me.
"Me, too! Where from?"
"Well, I grew up in Riverside. That's in Southern California."
"Me too!" I smiled back at her, feeling somewhat connected to the stranger.
"Actually," she said, "I grew up in Corona but I live in San Bernadino now."
I felt like, at this point, and in retrospect, this might have been a clue for me to cut and run. After all, a disheveled woman from the Meth capital of the world is asking for money. I felt a little bit uneasy, but a calmness seemed to linger in the air between us.
A few Christmases ago, I prayed that God would let me see people the way He sees them - without their faults and failures, beyond their smeared makeup and dirty clothes, and past their history. And suddenly I saw this girl the way, I imagine, God might: immature, needy, and hurting.
I didn't ask her back story. I didn't bother to question why she would be so far from "home". I didn't even ask what she needed the money for, though I suspected that my reasoning was somewhat selfish and that I didn't really want to know. But I did something unusual.
"Promise me that you are going to use this money wisely." I said. Before the words finished falling from my lips, I felt a wave of regret. Who am I to question her need? And, in all honesty, does it matter what she's going to do with the money once I give it? Once it leaves my hands, I no longer reserve the right to criticize it's final destination and/or purpose. And why would I assume, based on 2 minutes of conversation and a surface glance, that she would be anything less than honest with the money? Feeling guilty and ashamed, I looked into her eyes, then to the ground, hoping she would see my apology in my eyes.
"It's for my kids." She said.
I know, full well, and with good experience, that addicts lie through their teeth, straight faced, and very convincingly if need be. They will tell you anything to get what they want. They even lie to themselves, if that's what it takes. This is not my first experience with addicts, I assure you, and I felt a little sheepish for even having asked this woman such a foolish thing. First of all, if she was an honest woman, how belittling it must feel for me to piously ask her such a thing! And second of all, if she was an addict, what reason would I have to believe her in the first place? I felt ridiculous and small.
For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,I needed clothes and you clothed me,I was sick and you looked after me,I was in prison and you came to visit me. Matthew 25:35-36
Her reasons for asking seemed small in the shadow of the cross. If she was abusing my generosity, it wasn't for me to decide. But if I said no, knowing that I had a few dollars to give, and she was unable to provide for her children that day, I'm not sure that I would be able to sleep at night. In that brief moment, while her pale face stared at mine, I decided that it was worth the risk. The few dollars I could give her may never hurt me, but it might be all the difference to her. And beyond that, I couldn't know for certain what might become. I reached into my wallet and saw two crisp five-dollar bills, and a wrinkled single. I handed them to her with a smile.
"Good luck, and God bless," I told her.
She ran off quickly and I began to load my groceries into the truck. I cranked the engine and saw, before backing, the woman in my rear view mirror talking with two other women a few rows over. I put my truck back in park and watched in the mirror as they spoke. The woman handed another woman four bills - my three and another - and received something small in return to the palm of her hand. Though I can't be 100% certain, I feel fairly confident that I had just witnessed a drug deal. Immediately, my heart sank like a stone. Through tears, I looked in the rear view to see the woman get into an old Buick with another man, no children, and drive quickly away.
I felt so cheated, and so angry. Part of me wanted to go rattle the "dealer" senseless and maybe slash her tires. Part of me wanted to punch that man driving in the face. And part of me wanted to punch that "needy" woman in the stomach - so that she might feel the weight in the pit of her gut the way I did. How could I have been so foolish?
I shut my eyes and prayed. "God, I thought I was doing what You wanted me to! I was giving freely to someone You placed in my path! God, how could You let me be cheated like that? And, God, how could You let me see that? I was trying to help, but God, I think I failed..."
I will never know what happened to that girl from California. I will never know what she bought, or how much money she earned pan-handling from gullible strangers like me. But I know that she paid a high price. She was willing to lie, cheat, or steal to get whatever it is that she bought, and she put herself at risk. Her body will suffer, her mind will suffer, her soul is suffering - whether that is something she chooses to admit, or not. But for me, my heart aches for her. My heart aches for me.
I feel certain that my money is not the issue here - the issue is that God presented someone to me, who was in need, and I took the easy way out. What she really needed was not my money, but maybe my friendship, my love, or more likely, my God - He has a way of bringing what is dead back to life.
Friends, I ask that you pray for this woman, though I do not know her name. She's on my mind, and I pray for her safety and her eventual return to a loving Heavenly Father, who can provide so much more for her than what my $11 temporarily gave her.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
What a blessing!
I have read Deuteronomy enough times now to know the flow of the book. It isn't one of my favorites. However, I know that God definitely has a message for me in it. But tonight, as I read through the early chapters, I felt like I was reading a completely different book. Words seemed to dance on the page for me. And one passage in particular struck me.
Context
Here, Moses is reminding the Israelites as they prepare to (finally) cross over the Jordan river into the promised land, that God will deliver them from any and all nations possessing the land. Moses tells them that there are idol worshippers and sorcerers in the land, and that the Israelites need to show them no mercy, but instead destroy them and their idols, for the Israelites are God's chosen people. By illustrating the value of the Israelites to God, Moses is hoping they will listen to the commands and instructions God is giving so that they will prosper - which, Moses explains to the Israelites, cannot happen if the Israelites fall victim to the allure of witchcraft and idol worship.
Holiness
We think of the word "holy" as meaning pure and clean, and perhaps it often does. But here, the word "holy" really means set apart, or ordained for a special purpose. God needed the nation of Israel to be a special people, because from it we would eventually receive our Savior and sacrificial lamb. Truly, the Israelites were holy, or set apart for a special purpose - they would form the bloodline for Jesus Christ, who would come to save all of God's people.
Chosen
I think this verse stuck out to me tonight because, though I know the context in which it was written, it still applies so very much to us today. Read it to yourself, like this: "Dana, you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you, Dana, out of all the peoples on the earth to be his people, his treasured possession." How does it feel to hear God speak directly to you? I never thought of myself as being holy. And to be chosen out of everyone to be special and treasured by God... that feels incredible. And though it might seem a little cheesy to read it that way, I still know in my heart that it's true. God hand-picked me to be valued in his eyes. I think back to my days on the playground, and how incredibly proud I felt to be the first one picked for a dodgeball team. How much more amazing is it to know that God, the Creator of everything, picked me for his team!
Treasured
I never really thought of myself as treasured. I mean, my parents loved me dearly. My kids admire me (sometimes). My friends enjoy my company. My husband adores me. But all of that combined can't compare to what it is to be treasured by the God of the universe. Is there even a verb for that? His love and adoration for his chosen people is so great that they need to invent a word to describe it. It's too big! He doesn't just love his people, he values them above all else. He lets the grass die in the field. He lets the seas churn and create storms that stir them into confusion. He allows the earth to shift and move and crumble. But his chosen people... for them, he sacrificed himself in flesh so that our relationship didn't cease to exist when the fires came, when storms roared, when earthquakes shook, when famine took over. For us, he literally gave his body and soul. He didn't just die for us, he died for us. We can't possibly fathom in our mortal minds the depth of his love for us... the best word they could come up with is treasured, one considered especially precious or valuable (freedictionary.com).
Now what?
Now that I know that I am holy, chosen, and treasured, what do I do with that? Well, in the context of the Israelites, Moses was giving a spiritual peptalk. He needed the Israelites to be strong and keep themselves from getting sucked in to the wicked ways of the nations they would encounter on their way to the Promised Land. And in order for them to understand by what authority they were to do this, they needed to understand God's motivation - he treasured them dearly, and he chose them to go forward and do the task for which they were set apart. For us, there aren't any Amorites or Canaanites to slay. But we know that for each of us, God has established a purpose and plan for which we are set apart. He chose us, specially and purposefully, to do something fantastic in his name. And he did so because we are treasured, precious and valuable.
Now, doesn't that make you feel a little better?
For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.
-Deuteronomy 7:6
Context
Here, Moses is reminding the Israelites as they prepare to (finally) cross over the Jordan river into the promised land, that God will deliver them from any and all nations possessing the land. Moses tells them that there are idol worshippers and sorcerers in the land, and that the Israelites need to show them no mercy, but instead destroy them and their idols, for the Israelites are God's chosen people. By illustrating the value of the Israelites to God, Moses is hoping they will listen to the commands and instructions God is giving so that they will prosper - which, Moses explains to the Israelites, cannot happen if the Israelites fall victim to the allure of witchcraft and idol worship.
Holiness
We think of the word "holy" as meaning pure and clean, and perhaps it often does. But here, the word "holy" really means set apart, or ordained for a special purpose. God needed the nation of Israel to be a special people, because from it we would eventually receive our Savior and sacrificial lamb. Truly, the Israelites were holy, or set apart for a special purpose - they would form the bloodline for Jesus Christ, who would come to save all of God's people.
Chosen
I think this verse stuck out to me tonight because, though I know the context in which it was written, it still applies so very much to us today. Read it to yourself, like this: "Dana, you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you, Dana, out of all the peoples on the earth to be his people, his treasured possession." How does it feel to hear God speak directly to you? I never thought of myself as being holy. And to be chosen out of everyone to be special and treasured by God... that feels incredible. And though it might seem a little cheesy to read it that way, I still know in my heart that it's true. God hand-picked me to be valued in his eyes. I think back to my days on the playground, and how incredibly proud I felt to be the first one picked for a dodgeball team. How much more amazing is it to know that God, the Creator of everything, picked me for his team!
Treasured
I never really thought of myself as treasured. I mean, my parents loved me dearly. My kids admire me (sometimes). My friends enjoy my company. My husband adores me. But all of that combined can't compare to what it is to be treasured by the God of the universe. Is there even a verb for that? His love and adoration for his chosen people is so great that they need to invent a word to describe it. It's too big! He doesn't just love his people, he values them above all else. He lets the grass die in the field. He lets the seas churn and create storms that stir them into confusion. He allows the earth to shift and move and crumble. But his chosen people... for them, he sacrificed himself in flesh so that our relationship didn't cease to exist when the fires came, when storms roared, when earthquakes shook, when famine took over. For us, he literally gave his body and soul. He didn't just die for us, he died for us. We can't possibly fathom in our mortal minds the depth of his love for us... the best word they could come up with is treasured, one considered especially precious or valuable (freedictionary.com).
Now what?
Now that I know that I am holy, chosen, and treasured, what do I do with that? Well, in the context of the Israelites, Moses was giving a spiritual peptalk. He needed the Israelites to be strong and keep themselves from getting sucked in to the wicked ways of the nations they would encounter on their way to the Promised Land. And in order for them to understand by what authority they were to do this, they needed to understand God's motivation - he treasured them dearly, and he chose them to go forward and do the task for which they were set apart. For us, there aren't any Amorites or Canaanites to slay. But we know that for each of us, God has established a purpose and plan for which we are set apart. He chose us, specially and purposefully, to do something fantastic in his name. And he did so because we are treasured, precious and valuable.
I am holy, set apart to do something wonderful in his name. I was specially chosen to do it. And I am treasured for it. And you are, too.
Now, doesn't that make you feel a little better?
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Sunshine and Psalms
For several days now the weather in southeast Texas has been absolutely beautiful, save the abundance of pollen that sends me into sneezing fits. We have enjoyed sunshine, soft breezes, and the sweet perfume of a nearby sweet olive tree. The dogs have been in the back yard nearly all day basking in the sunshine. If my eyes weren't nearly swollen shut, my throat closed and sore, and my nose constantly dripping, this would be an absolutely perfect day. I decided to take an Alavert and head to the backyard and sun myself with the dogs. Well, not exactly with the dogs. You know what I mean.
I opened the umbrella at the outdoor table and opened up my Bible. I figured it would only be fitting to read about the Creation while sitting in it. The sunshine on my face, the softness of the cool breeze, and the sweet scent of springtime all conspired to create a smile in my heart that not even a 10-in-a-row sneeze-fit could wipe away.
What God revealed to me was something beautiful, amazing, overwhelming, and captivating. While I marveled at the number of times I could sneeze, in a row and without pause, God was showing me something bigger at which to marvel: Creation itself. I wanted to share with you Psalm 104:
-Psalm 104, NIV
I opened the umbrella at the outdoor table and opened up my Bible. I figured it would only be fitting to read about the Creation while sitting in it. The sunshine on my face, the softness of the cool breeze, and the sweet scent of springtime all conspired to create a smile in my heart that not even a 10-in-a-row sneeze-fit could wipe away.
What God revealed to me was something beautiful, amazing, overwhelming, and captivating. While I marveled at the number of times I could sneeze, in a row and without pause, God was showing me something bigger at which to marvel: Creation itself. I wanted to share with you Psalm 104:
Praise the LORD, O my soul.
LORD my God, you are very great;
you are clothed with splendor and majesty.
The LORD wraps himself in light as with a garment;
he stretches out the heavens like a tent
and lays the beams of his upper chambers on their waters.
He makes the clouds his chariot
and rides he wings of the wind.
He makes winds his messengers,
flames of fire his servants.
He set the earth on its foundations;
it can never be moved.
You covered it with the watery depths as with a garment;
the waters stood above the mountains.
But at your rebuke the waters fled,
at the sound of your thunder they took to flight;
they flowed over the mountains,
they went down into the valleys,
to the place you assigned for them.
You set a boundary they cannot cross;
never again will they cover the earth.
He makes springs pour water into the ravines;
it flows between the mountains.
They give water to all the beasts of the field;
the wild donkeys quench their thirst.
The birds of the sky nest by the waters;
they sing among the branches.
He waters the mountains from his upper chambers;
the land is satisfied by the fruit of his work.
He makes grass grow for the cattle,
and plants for people to cultivate--
bringing forth food from the earth;
wine that gladdens human hearts,
oil to make their faces shine,
and bread that sustains their hearts.
The trees of the LORD are well watered,
the cedars of Lebanon that he planted.
There the birds make their nests;
the stork has its home in the junipers.
The high mountains belong to the wild goats;
the crags are a refuge for the hyrax.
He made the moon to mark the season,
and the sun knows when to go down.
You bring darkness, it becomes night,
and all the beasts of the forest prowl.
The lions roar for their prey
and seek their food from God.
The sun rises, and they steal away;
they return and lie down in their dens.
Then people go out to their work,
to their labor until evening.
How many are your works, O LORD!
In wisdom you made them all;
the earth is full of your creatures.
There is the sea, vast and spacious,
teeming with creatures beyond number--
living things both large and small.
There the ships go to and fro,
and Leviathan, which you formed to frolic there.
All creatures look to you
to give them their food at the proper time.
When you give it to them,
they gather it up;
when you open your hand,
they are satisfied with good things.
When you hide your face,
they are terrified;
when you take away their breath,
they die and return to the dust.
When you send your Spirit,
they are created,
and you renew the face of the ground.
May the glory of the LORD endure forever;
may the LORD rejoice in his works--
he who looks at the earth, and it trembles,
who touches the mountains, and they smoke.
I will sing to the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
May my meditation be pleasing to him,
as I rejoice in the LORD.
But may sinners vanish from the earth
and the wicked be no more.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.
Praise the LORD.
-Psalm 104, NIV
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Lukewarm Living and Half-Hearted Giving
God is very clear in scripture that He isn't interested in us bringing to him anything other than the best. Nearly the entire book of Malachi is filled with God's words to those who would try to "cheat" God by bringing less than their very best as an offering to Him. In Malachi 1:6-14, He tells us that our blemished sacrifices mean nothing to Him, and "cursed is the cheat who has an acceptable male in his flock and vows to give it, but then sacrifices a blemished animal to the Lord." He could go on to give example after example of why He deserves to be honored and respected enough for us to bring Him our perfect sacrifices. But does He really need to? Have we not seen that God is God, and plenty worthy of everything??
Thankfully, animal sacrifices aren't required of us today. But that doesn't mean that God stopped asking for us to give to Him. In Malachi 3:10, God says "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." The whole tithe, you say? Hmm. So, that's 10%, right? Gross or net? Monthly or weekly?
I think we've missed His point. Perhaps we need to back up a second. First of all, what is a tithe? Well, the word actually means a tenth. So, yes, 10% is a tithe. But 10% of what? Well, 10% of whatever earnings you have. So, if you earn $100, you would tithe $10. Simple. Often people ask, "10% of net or gross?" Well, let's stop and consider for a moment what God is really asking you to do. He isn't necessarily concerned with the money. And I don't think He's concerned with the math. But if you examine scripture closely, you'll see where He's going. In Malachi 3:8 it says, "Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me." How? Because all the money you earned on that pay check isn't yours in the first place. It all belongs to God - not a tenth, not a portion, all of it. So when it's time to pay your tithe, what you're actually doing is accepting the gift of 90% from God, not giving 10% to God. When you look at it like this, it kind of changes things, doesn't it? Alright, now let's get technical for a second. When you look at your pay stub, you'll notice that the government has taken it's portion, and you've probably paid for insurance on this check. Before you curse about it, consider changing the way you view your check. Those deductions, while they seem painful, are done on your behalf as a courtesy. I assure you that if you opted not to have taxes deducted from your pay check, you would be very sore come April 15 when your tax bill was due. God is not concerned with your tax deductions and your insurance premiums and your stock options. God is concerned that you test Him in this. As you write your tithe check this month, be aware of what God is asking you to do - live with the 90% He's gifting you with, and He will keep only 10% in His church.
In preparing for my ladies group this morning, and the brief discussion we had on giving, I felt God tugging at me on this subject. He led me to some fascinating numbers, and I really felt convicted after this brief period of research. See if you feel the same way...
The average annual income in Guatemala (a place near and dear to my heart) is $2,630. That's less than one of my husband's paychecks - after taxes! The average annual income in the United States is $41,400. And the average annual income here in Sugar Land, Texas is $86,231. Truly I live in a blessed community. Now, the bottom 85% of the world's population earns $2,182 a year, or about $5.98 per day. The top 10% earns $25,400 a year. The top 5% earns $33,700 a year, and the top 1% earns $47,500 a year, or about $130.14 a day. Most of the people I know would fall into the top 1/10 of 1% in earnings. "Wealthy Americans" are considered to be those making $150,000 a year or more, despite the average American being in the top 2% of the world's wealth. Of those considered "wealthy", only about 1% of them gave a full tithe. Only roughly 1.9% of American wealth is given annually, even though a tithe is 10%. In general, the more money a person makes, the less likely he or she is to tithe. 37% of regular church-goers did not give at all last year, and only 3-5% of church-goers gave a full tithe. The average church-attendee gave $643.67 in 2004.
The numbers are discouraging. They tell a very different story than the one God illustrates in the Old Testament. He doesn't want our half-hearted attempt at giving. You think God needs your money?? I doubt the God who parted seas, started plagues, sends angels, and miraculously placed His son in a virgin's womb needs the 3-5% we've been offering. No, what He wants is our hearts. He wants our hearts to give - generously, and cheerfully - to show that we understand that the money we earn every month isn't really ours at all. It's all His. And we graciously accept 90% of that money as stewards and investors of His wealth. We can't give God 10% of our money. We don't have any. He just lets us keep some of it.
As a personal testimony, I just want to share with you a brief story regarding tithing. In years previous, my husband and I were reluctant to tithe. Like most Americans, I think we just felt that the tithing was really a way to ensure our pastor got his new car, kept his nice suburban home, and sent his kids to Christian private school. We felt convicted at times to give to ensure our church could maintain programs that we used, keep lights on, and continue special activities. But, we just never really felt the need to give regularly. We were cheerful and generous, but not tithers. We didn't offer God the blemish-free sacrifice He wanted. After reading Malachi, we felt very convicted. Test me in this. It became clear that, at the very least, we knew that God had been faithful to His promises thus far and we had no reason to believe He wouldn't be faithful in this. In January of 2011, we began to tithe - a full tithe - every two weeks. When the paycheck came in, the first check we wrote was to the church. Honestly, it was painful at first. We had grown so used to spending that money on our own selfish desires, it was very hard to part with it. After a time, though, we weren't even aware that it was "gone." And despite the 10% decrease in our available funds, we were noticing that our lives were so incredibly blessed! My husband got a raise, which even after 10% tithe more than made up for the difference. We were able to pay off debt and create even more margin in our budget. But then something really amazing happened. We began to notice that our overall charitable giving went up! We had money left over at the end of the month that we were able to give to other organizations and charities that could benefit from our gift. We couldn't stop giving! And the more money we gave away, the more money God seemed to give us. My husband and I both were able to go on foreign mission trips. We gave to the cause nearest and dearest to our hearts - Living Water International. We were able to begin a relationship with a child from WorldVision and in our partnership were able to give clean water and medicine to a rural community in Guatemala. We have made anonymous donations to other local charities and causes - all in addition to our regular tithe! We took God up on His challenge - and He did everything He said He would. I would encourage you to do the same. Your money will not go to waste. In fact, you will find yourself blessed beyond belief. Even if God chooses not to give you a single dime in exchange, you can rest assured that what He will do in your life and in your heart will be worth every single penny and then some. It is by far the best, safest, and easiest investment you can ever make - In God We Trust.
Thankfully, animal sacrifices aren't required of us today. But that doesn't mean that God stopped asking for us to give to Him. In Malachi 3:10, God says "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." The whole tithe, you say? Hmm. So, that's 10%, right? Gross or net? Monthly or weekly?
I think we've missed His point. Perhaps we need to back up a second. First of all, what is a tithe? Well, the word actually means a tenth. So, yes, 10% is a tithe. But 10% of what? Well, 10% of whatever earnings you have. So, if you earn $100, you would tithe $10. Simple. Often people ask, "10% of net or gross?" Well, let's stop and consider for a moment what God is really asking you to do. He isn't necessarily concerned with the money. And I don't think He's concerned with the math. But if you examine scripture closely, you'll see where He's going. In Malachi 3:8 it says, "Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me." How? Because all the money you earned on that pay check isn't yours in the first place. It all belongs to God - not a tenth, not a portion, all of it. So when it's time to pay your tithe, what you're actually doing is accepting the gift of 90% from God, not giving 10% to God. When you look at it like this, it kind of changes things, doesn't it? Alright, now let's get technical for a second. When you look at your pay stub, you'll notice that the government has taken it's portion, and you've probably paid for insurance on this check. Before you curse about it, consider changing the way you view your check. Those deductions, while they seem painful, are done on your behalf as a courtesy. I assure you that if you opted not to have taxes deducted from your pay check, you would be very sore come April 15 when your tax bill was due. God is not concerned with your tax deductions and your insurance premiums and your stock options. God is concerned that you test Him in this. As you write your tithe check this month, be aware of what God is asking you to do - live with the 90% He's gifting you with, and He will keep only 10% in His church.
In preparing for my ladies group this morning, and the brief discussion we had on giving, I felt God tugging at me on this subject. He led me to some fascinating numbers, and I really felt convicted after this brief period of research. See if you feel the same way...
The average annual income in Guatemala (a place near and dear to my heart) is $2,630. That's less than one of my husband's paychecks - after taxes! The average annual income in the United States is $41,400. And the average annual income here in Sugar Land, Texas is $86,231. Truly I live in a blessed community. Now, the bottom 85% of the world's population earns $2,182 a year, or about $5.98 per day. The top 10% earns $25,400 a year. The top 5% earns $33,700 a year, and the top 1% earns $47,500 a year, or about $130.14 a day. Most of the people I know would fall into the top 1/10 of 1% in earnings. "Wealthy Americans" are considered to be those making $150,000 a year or more, despite the average American being in the top 2% of the world's wealth. Of those considered "wealthy", only about 1% of them gave a full tithe. Only roughly 1.9% of American wealth is given annually, even though a tithe is 10%. In general, the more money a person makes, the less likely he or she is to tithe. 37% of regular church-goers did not give at all last year, and only 3-5% of church-goers gave a full tithe. The average church-attendee gave $643.67 in 2004.
The numbers are discouraging. They tell a very different story than the one God illustrates in the Old Testament. He doesn't want our half-hearted attempt at giving. You think God needs your money?? I doubt the God who parted seas, started plagues, sends angels, and miraculously placed His son in a virgin's womb needs the 3-5% we've been offering. No, what He wants is our hearts. He wants our hearts to give - generously, and cheerfully - to show that we understand that the money we earn every month isn't really ours at all. It's all His. And we graciously accept 90% of that money as stewards and investors of His wealth. We can't give God 10% of our money. We don't have any. He just lets us keep some of it.
As a personal testimony, I just want to share with you a brief story regarding tithing. In years previous, my husband and I were reluctant to tithe. Like most Americans, I think we just felt that the tithing was really a way to ensure our pastor got his new car, kept his nice suburban home, and sent his kids to Christian private school. We felt convicted at times to give to ensure our church could maintain programs that we used, keep lights on, and continue special activities. But, we just never really felt the need to give regularly. We were cheerful and generous, but not tithers. We didn't offer God the blemish-free sacrifice He wanted. After reading Malachi, we felt very convicted. Test me in this. It became clear that, at the very least, we knew that God had been faithful to His promises thus far and we had no reason to believe He wouldn't be faithful in this. In January of 2011, we began to tithe - a full tithe - every two weeks. When the paycheck came in, the first check we wrote was to the church. Honestly, it was painful at first. We had grown so used to spending that money on our own selfish desires, it was very hard to part with it. After a time, though, we weren't even aware that it was "gone." And despite the 10% decrease in our available funds, we were noticing that our lives were so incredibly blessed! My husband got a raise, which even after 10% tithe more than made up for the difference. We were able to pay off debt and create even more margin in our budget. But then something really amazing happened. We began to notice that our overall charitable giving went up! We had money left over at the end of the month that we were able to give to other organizations and charities that could benefit from our gift. We couldn't stop giving! And the more money we gave away, the more money God seemed to give us. My husband and I both were able to go on foreign mission trips. We gave to the cause nearest and dearest to our hearts - Living Water International. We were able to begin a relationship with a child from WorldVision and in our partnership were able to give clean water and medicine to a rural community in Guatemala. We have made anonymous donations to other local charities and causes - all in addition to our regular tithe! We took God up on His challenge - and He did everything He said He would. I would encourage you to do the same. Your money will not go to waste. In fact, you will find yourself blessed beyond belief. Even if God chooses not to give you a single dime in exchange, you can rest assured that what He will do in your life and in your heart will be worth every single penny and then some. It is by far the best, safest, and easiest investment you can ever make - In God We Trust.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentine's Day Gift-Giving 101
My husband is an excellent gifter. Me, on the other hand, not so much. It's not that I can't think of great gift ideas. It's just that my husband is difficult to shop for. If he wants something, he usually just buys it for himself. And the stuff he wants that he doesn't buy is out of my price range, or too technical for a non-geek like myself. But it stinks to come together on Valentine's Day and not give anything to my sweetie. What to do? This year, I gave it a lot of thought. And here's what I came up with:
Speak his language.
I believe very much in Dr. Chapman's Five Love Languages. If you haven't read his book, I highly encourage you to do so. It's definitely an eye-opener. When I discovered which language my husband was speaking, it literally changed my marriage. And it made my gifting plan come together in a completely simple, yet (hopefully) effective way.
Dr. Chapman tells us that there are five love languages - ways in which we "hear" and "speak" love to others, and usually you speak the language that you want to hear. I'm a "Quality Time" person, meaning I feel loved when my sweet husband spends time with me. He is an "Acts of Service" person - he feels loved when I volunteer to do things for him that he might otherwise have to do himself. There's also a "Words of Encouragement" person. This person needs to hear uplifting words and praise to feel loved (this may be my secondary language). "Personal Touch" people enjoy hugs, kisses, and closeness to feel love. And finally, "Gifts" people like to receive tangible gifts to feel loved.
This, of course, is highly simplified. Again, I encourage you to read this book. Especially as a couple - you will learn a lot about yourself, your spouse, and your relationship. But when I began to think in these terms, I kind of gathered up a few ideas for the other Valentines in my life who might appreciate hearing "I Love You" in their language. I hope this helps!
Quality time. Being a person who speaks this language, it's easiest for me to discuss this topic. A "QT" person needs a gift that speaks this language loudest. One of the sweetest "gifts" I ever got from my sweetie is when he rented a video and we spent the afternoon on the couch. I know that seems so simple, and even cheap, but it really was the best. Why? Because we were doing something together. Quality time. Not just two people in the same room, but two people engaged in something together. The key word for a quality time person is together. If you have a quality time person on your list, think about an activity that you can both do - without distraction. It'll mean the most.
Personal touch. This might very well be most men. They seem to have the highest drive for being touched - intimately - and often. But don't limit this category to sex because there is a lot more to personal touch than sex. A personal touch person likes you to sit close, hold hands, and be hugged. Your proximity means a lot. It's hard to give a gift to a personal touch person, but with a little creativity you can make it happen. Consider a massage or something that involves your bodies close together. Again, don't limit this to sexual touching.
Words of encouragement. This person is all about the old-fashioned Valentine. They like to see your handwriting telling them how much they mean to you. They also like for you to actually speak it. This person feels most loved when you speak considerately - "thank you" and "please" go a long way with this person. This being my secondary love language, I find it to be so invigorating when my husband tells me he likes my cooking, he appreciates the way I handled something, or he likes the way I look. It's the verbalization of his feelings that means a lot. And having it written down is always a good idea for a words of encouragement person, because they will be able to look back on it and remember how you felt.
Gifts. This category has always been difficult to me because neither my husband nor myself are gifts people. We both appreciate them, but they don't necessarily speak love to us in the way that someone who is a gifts person would hear. A gifts person appreciates tangible objects to display love. Obviously, a gifts person would be your best bet for jewelry and flowers. But don't think that if you have a gifts person in your life that you can just throw a gift at them and be done with it. Gifts people are usually a little bit picky. They want a gift that shows you know their style, their taste, and their personality. My mother was a gift person. But she was not a fan of diamonds. It was unwise for my dad to think that buying her a diamond was the best Valentine ever. She loved aquamarines. If you are giving a gift, think about the person you are buying for. If she hates chocolate, a box of candies might not work. If she loves silver, buying a gold pendant might not be the best thing. And if she's allergic to flowers, a bouquet might not be your best bet.
Acts of service. This is my husband. He feels most loved when he sees things done for him with a cheerful heart. For example, if I volunteer to take my middle son to Boy Scouts so he can watch the football game, he knows that I love him. If I volunteer to go to the grocery store and get him his favorite snack, he feels loved. But it's hard to serve a person a Valentine. I gave it a lot of thought - several days in fact. Finally I got it - a coupon book. Yes, that is a bit cheesy. But I thought of things that he would appreciate having done for him and gave him a coupon for it. He will probably never cash it in, but I know what was in that book, and I can serve him throughout the year by doing things that I promised to do in the coupon book. He will feel loved not just on Valentine's Day, but all year long as I serve him and speak the language of love that his ears are tuned to.
Valentine's Day is kind of goofy. But it can be so much fun, too, when you can go out of your way to speak love into your Valentine's heart in a way that he or she will hear and understand... and reciprocate.
For more information on Dr. Chapman's Five Love Languages, click here.
Speak his language.
I believe very much in Dr. Chapman's Five Love Languages. If you haven't read his book, I highly encourage you to do so. It's definitely an eye-opener. When I discovered which language my husband was speaking, it literally changed my marriage. And it made my gifting plan come together in a completely simple, yet (hopefully) effective way.
Dr. Chapman tells us that there are five love languages - ways in which we "hear" and "speak" love to others, and usually you speak the language that you want to hear. I'm a "Quality Time" person, meaning I feel loved when my sweet husband spends time with me. He is an "Acts of Service" person - he feels loved when I volunteer to do things for him that he might otherwise have to do himself. There's also a "Words of Encouragement" person. This person needs to hear uplifting words and praise to feel loved (this may be my secondary language). "Personal Touch" people enjoy hugs, kisses, and closeness to feel love. And finally, "Gifts" people like to receive tangible gifts to feel loved.
This, of course, is highly simplified. Again, I encourage you to read this book. Especially as a couple - you will learn a lot about yourself, your spouse, and your relationship. But when I began to think in these terms, I kind of gathered up a few ideas for the other Valentines in my life who might appreciate hearing "I Love You" in their language. I hope this helps!
Quality time. Being a person who speaks this language, it's easiest for me to discuss this topic. A "QT" person needs a gift that speaks this language loudest. One of the sweetest "gifts" I ever got from my sweetie is when he rented a video and we spent the afternoon on the couch. I know that seems so simple, and even cheap, but it really was the best. Why? Because we were doing something together. Quality time. Not just two people in the same room, but two people engaged in something together. The key word for a quality time person is together. If you have a quality time person on your list, think about an activity that you can both do - without distraction. It'll mean the most.
Personal touch. This might very well be most men. They seem to have the highest drive for being touched - intimately - and often. But don't limit this category to sex because there is a lot more to personal touch than sex. A personal touch person likes you to sit close, hold hands, and be hugged. Your proximity means a lot. It's hard to give a gift to a personal touch person, but with a little creativity you can make it happen. Consider a massage or something that involves your bodies close together. Again, don't limit this to sexual touching.
Words of encouragement. This person is all about the old-fashioned Valentine. They like to see your handwriting telling them how much they mean to you. They also like for you to actually speak it. This person feels most loved when you speak considerately - "thank you" and "please" go a long way with this person. This being my secondary love language, I find it to be so invigorating when my husband tells me he likes my cooking, he appreciates the way I handled something, or he likes the way I look. It's the verbalization of his feelings that means a lot. And having it written down is always a good idea for a words of encouragement person, because they will be able to look back on it and remember how you felt.
Gifts. This category has always been difficult to me because neither my husband nor myself are gifts people. We both appreciate them, but they don't necessarily speak love to us in the way that someone who is a gifts person would hear. A gifts person appreciates tangible objects to display love. Obviously, a gifts person would be your best bet for jewelry and flowers. But don't think that if you have a gifts person in your life that you can just throw a gift at them and be done with it. Gifts people are usually a little bit picky. They want a gift that shows you know their style, their taste, and their personality. My mother was a gift person. But she was not a fan of diamonds. It was unwise for my dad to think that buying her a diamond was the best Valentine ever. She loved aquamarines. If you are giving a gift, think about the person you are buying for. If she hates chocolate, a box of candies might not work. If she loves silver, buying a gold pendant might not be the best thing. And if she's allergic to flowers, a bouquet might not be your best bet.
Acts of service. This is my husband. He feels most loved when he sees things done for him with a cheerful heart. For example, if I volunteer to take my middle son to Boy Scouts so he can watch the football game, he knows that I love him. If I volunteer to go to the grocery store and get him his favorite snack, he feels loved. But it's hard to serve a person a Valentine. I gave it a lot of thought - several days in fact. Finally I got it - a coupon book. Yes, that is a bit cheesy. But I thought of things that he would appreciate having done for him and gave him a coupon for it. He will probably never cash it in, but I know what was in that book, and I can serve him throughout the year by doing things that I promised to do in the coupon book. He will feel loved not just on Valentine's Day, but all year long as I serve him and speak the language of love that his ears are tuned to.
Valentine's Day is kind of goofy. But it can be so much fun, too, when you can go out of your way to speak love into your Valentine's heart in a way that he or she will hear and understand... and reciprocate.
For more information on Dr. Chapman's Five Love Languages, click here.
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